Yellow Buses (Danfo)

Do people really get over traumatic experiences? It still haunts me everyday like it just happened an hour ago! I have too many questions in my head that I need to ask those who got over their trauma because honestly, it has been hard, harder and more harder to forget the bitter experience I had in the hands of semi-kidnappers.

My heart suddenly gets heavy if I am required to board these yellow buses, at any stop, it feels like history is about to repeat itself. Will I ever get over this trauma? One moment, I am motivating myself that I can do this because I am strong willed and fearless, but the truth is I need more than self motivation to get over this incident. No day goes by without me thinking about it, you are wondering why? I see these yellow buses (Danfo) every single day and I can’t help but think if that’s the bus I entered or not, if those are the faces who brutally injured me or not. I am rendered helpless without answers to these questions in my head, will I ever get over this? Will this happen to me again? Am I doing something wrong? Am I taking necessary precautions? What kind of bus is safe to board? What are the types of people I should find on a bus? Where is the best and safest seat to sit on? What’s next? I really do not know what is what anymore when it comes to taking public transports especially those yellow buses (Danfo). I typically ditch going out if I am going to be entering a public bus (danfo) alone without a friend or relative. Even with a familiar face with me, I still panic at any sudden stop or movement.

Days where I am in a bus the way my heart races like a speed dial code, this feeling I want no more, this feeling i want forgotten, this feeling I want dead and never look back, this feeling I never want to experience ever again. These people shouldn’t get the best of me, they shouldn’t break my confidence, they shouldn’t ruin my fun times, they shouldn’t stand against my wellness. I need to know the how and what it takes to get over this awful feeling and heart aches. It’s been 11 months since the terrible incident and I am yet to get over it. Nigeria my unsafe home!